I honestly thought that with the onset of Summer weather (75% of the year is summer here) I wouldn’t be dealing with or even thinking about colds and other illnesses. It is too darn hot outside to even consider such a crazy idea. Can people actually have weakened immune systems in weather like this? Doubt it.
But apparently the impossible has happened because my boyfriend is sick, and the poor guy is barely well enough to function, so I like any decent girlfriend am on a mission to help him get well soon (or at least just feel better).
Here is how to deal with your boyfriend when he is sick:
1. Accept that your boyfriend is going to be extremely whiny. This is just a fact of life. Men are giant babies when it comes to being sick. Hey, I guess they can’t be tough all the time.
2. Learn to read minds. This skill can come in handy plenty of other times in life but these moments are crucial. Your boyfriend probably isn’t going to clearly explain whatever symptoms are going on. If you can’t read minds, just throw NyQuil at him and hope for the best.
3. Go and Google the symptoms he seems to have. He’s either dying or completely healthy, because there is no in-between. It’s true, I read it on WebMD.
4. Distract him with copious amounts of Netflix and YouTube videos. Then go use this precious time to heat up some soup and brew some chamomile tea.
5. [EXPERT LEVEL] Convince him that tea is manly, and it’s not just chicks who drink it. If you can get just this one step done, you have cured him of his nasty cough for at least a little while. Then it’s time for more tea.
6. Do some research on which medicines actually help with which symptoms, also what medicines should or shouldn’t be taken together. You’re trying to get your boyfriend well again, not drug him into next week. Bonus points if you both have combined degrees in biology and chemistry. You can always call a local pharmacist for help too.
7. Try not to kill him when he refuses to take his medicine. Take deep breaths and find your zen when he drives to the store to buy the same damn medicine that he refused to take at home.
8. Be patient for the next few days. Many hours will he spend on the couch watching TV and looking sad. Don’t forget to check on him when you aren’t busy with work or other things.
9. Celebrate his wellness when he finally kicks the cold! My boyfriend prefers to celebrate with a nice meal. It’s also an excuse for him to get up and leave his spot on the couch!
For anyone who thinks he might be offended, my boyfriend actually helped me with this one.